Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

QOTW: "Are black women who date online seen as easy prey to white men???"

Posted by Christelyn, 25 Oct 16

I got this question from a fan of my You Tube channel. I have a lot to say about this, and will most likely do a follow up video, but I thought it would be a good time to engage some of our regulars in a forum format to discuss. Here goes:

Hi Chris I’m a black female who has dated interracially from the start. I’ve been using unpaid online dating sites for years now. I have had absolutely no luck! The men I’ve encountered are disgusting. They don’t get passed two emails without them asking for nude photos!

I am a fairly conservative women and have no ideal what would give these guys the ideal that I’m some sort of slut. Since I’m black and they’re white I often wonder if the treatment I’m receiving is due to the over sexualization of black women in general. I feel like these men wouldn’t dare treat a white woman so distastefully. I am also full-figured and wonder if they just feel like I’m desperate or something. In any case I still worry that race is a factor. I really expected white guys to had a more conservative approach.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Can you please do a response video. And shed some light on this for women like me? Maybe I’m being hypersensitive. Or maybe I’m on to something..You be the judge. Do white male swirlers see black women as sluts?

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

13 responses to "QOTW: "Are black women who date online seen as easy prey to white men???""

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  1.   David0559 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec

    I have no problem dating Black or White women and would never ever ask for naughty photos that only puts off the nice dates. White men are often preferred by black women because they usually have more money and generally treat them better, look at this dating site a high proportion of black women are asking for white dates. I am looking at the older dates 30 plus that's personal preference , it is only a date no more what happens in the next few weeks determines any relationship

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  2.   Naturall360 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov

    My experience has not been great lately. When I first started dating interracially (approximately 10 years ago), i met White men who seem to have some dating etiquette. I believe with the influx of black/latina women dating interracially, White men have choices--supply and demand. I also believe that a lot of black/latina women have added to how White men have started viewing women of color. Many men have advised me of young/middle/old age women asking for money up front as pay for play; sending nude photos as a means to entice men; asking for money to pay bills etc. It is no different than dating a Black men. Black men became extinct so there was a supply and demand. Competition for these black men led to things my Mom would never have done. This does not excuse behavior but it just promotes bad behavior on the other side. Sad to say but after while there will be few choices of good men--regardless of race.

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  3.   Synt says:
    Posted: 18 Aug

    Thank you for asking this! (Btw, did he respond with a video? I don't see it) I've tried unpaid dating sites and then upgraded to paid and I swear..the men have No clue what to talk about. I dont like the nerdy responses: " I have white boy rhythm" "Do you like white guys" I post in my profile that I'm a dancer and I post that race is not an issue. So...I see that guys do not read. And they don't care.

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  4.   kindacowboy says:
    Posted: 14 Jan

    I met my wife online. She certainly never was considered easy prey nor was she. She made sure of that

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  5.   CherriPi7 says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 17

    I also have a story....

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  6. Posted: 22 Oct 17

    Who knows. I feel that you have to be careful and notice the warning signs. I have met some good and not so great guys from paid and unpaid sites. Although chances are better if you go to a paid site to meet someone. Unless you are trying to meet someone in another State or Country it might be best to do it the old fashioned way and get out and meet people.

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  7.   CaliDuchess says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 17

    I haven't had that experience as much now as I did when I first started. Unpaid sites are the only places I've actually experienced this. I have seen the same men on several sites, but I think paying does change the dynamics. I've also tried the unpaid app based ones this past summer and went on several dates with great potential mates.

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  8.   DC- says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 17

    Probably only online and nothing beyond the first phone call. Some of these same men will never approach a Black woman in person.

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  9.   Pompv says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 17

    I have a story too!

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  10.   MonaSweet68 says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 17

    I am experiencing the same thing so I just delete and block.....

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  11.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 17

    I've often wondered the same thing when I've had a email from a man which is just so out there in its approach - it leaves me wondering 'where did that come from?' I ignore these type of messages and only reply to guys who show from the start that they have respect. I think you will always get some guys who try it on but the best thing we can do is delete and block.

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    • NewYorkGent says:
      Posted: 01 Mar 17

      Always follow your instincts. Anyone who sends a message that is inappropriate or disrespectful is a big red flag.

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