Black Women Looking For White Men

Shalonda & Jonathan

Black Women Looking For White Men - What the Hay! | DateWhoYouWant - Shalonda & Jonathan Black Women Looking For White Men - What the Hay! | DateWhoYouWant - Shalonda & Jonathan

What the Hay!

“I just wanted to try something new,” Shalonda tells us. “I was tired of the dating scene. Clubs and bars are about the only way people usually meet, and there’s no telling who you’ll end up talking to... it could be some crazy with a shopping addiction!”

Jonathan didn’t have a shopping addiction. But he didn’t have a wonderful woman in his life, either. “I just wanted to find someone with substance, morals and a good personality,” he says. “I was not confident at all, but I tried anyway and it worked out great.”

Shalonda didn’t enter the online dating game with any illusions. She knew it might take time to find Mr. Right. “I was 50/50 on it,” says Shalonda of her confidence level. “As I said, you can meet crazy people anywhere, so I figured, ‘what the hay!’”

Shalonda didn’t wait around for a great guy to tap her on the shoulder. As soon as she joined our site, she began making the most of her membership. Inside of a week she had found Jonathan’s profile (username: “Calisouth”). “I reached out to him first, through a Flirt,” she explains. “Jonathan is a former Marine and I’ve just gotten out of the service, so it was nice not having to explain certain things to him. I believed we’d have a lot to talk about.”

Jonathan had been waiting more than a year to meet someone like Shalonda, and here she was, contacting HIM. He couldn’t believe his luck. “After a few times chatting, I felt like I had finally met someone down to earth and very caring,” he says.

Chatting is one thing, dating is another. Were they ready to take that first step down the road to a relationship? “He seemed nice, and I was eager to see how we’d get along in person,” Shalonda recalls. “Also, people have a different chemistry in person.” She wanted to give their chemistry a field test rather than continue to invest time and energy into a hypothetical romance.

“We had talked on the phone a lot, by that point,” says Jonathan. “I wanted to get to know her more, start to spend time together, and see how we meshed in person.”

When Shalonda saw Jonathan arrive, she thought “he looked like a skater.” In Jonathan’s mind, Shalonda met his every expectation. He remembers thinking, “Wow she’s gorgeous… Can I get a hug, please?”

Jonathan’s easygoing demeanor and quick wit was disarming. “I could joke with him and be comfortable, which never happens to me,” notes Shalonda. In turn, Jonathan felt instantly accepted in her presence. “I was very comfortable around her, and could just be my goofy self,” he says. “She laughed at all my dumb jokes!”

After their first date, Jonathan was “very sure” they would meet again. “We had a lot of fun on our first date,” he says. “It seemed like she really enjoyed being around me,” he says.

And go out again they did! Now these two are happily exploring the possibilities that being together has opened up in their lives. Jonathan says he’s amazed by “How understanding she is about things in my life, and how caring she is.” Shalonda appreciates all they have in common. “Being with someone who is around the same age as you is great,” she says. “I can talk to him about anything, and he gets it.”

Everyone has a “type,” at least to some degree, but sometimes it’s best to date outside those parameters. Shalonda felt that for her, dating Jonathan was the best of both worlds. “He was something I was looking for, and he has other qualities that I like but was sure I wouldn’t find.”

Jonathan didn’t expect to date a woman like Shalonda, and yet she’s everything he wanted. “Well, for starters, I never thought I’d date someone from the military, let alone basically the same branch of the armed forces as me,” he begins. “As far as type goes, there’s a lot of things that are different and aren’t different from what I wanted in a partner. I guess looking at it all, I found the perfect mix of things that I was hoping to find in a woman, plus a few other things that I didn’t know I liked!”

While Shalonda didn’t feel she needed a man to complete her, or even to make her happy, Jonathan’s presence in her life has been welcome. “It just enhanced my life,” she says. “I am happy with or without a man, but to actually find a man and not a boy is wonderful. We both don’t like drama, so we try our best to keep it out of our lives. Even though drama finds you whether you want it or not, I believe I’ve found someone who I can take on life with, and deal with its ups and downs.”

Listening to this, Jonathan nods in agreement. “As she said, I was happy with or without a woman, but I just wanted someone to share my life with and make memories with. It’s nice to know I have someone in my corner who is caring, understanding and just as attentive as I am. It’s wonderful.”

Shalonda says the practice of deception is the biggest mistake an online dater can make. “Make sure you are honest on your profile, because whatever you’re hiding will come out eventually,” she warns. “When you find (or are found by) that special person, if you communicate, they will be understanding and will still cherish who you are. You do not need to find someone perfect, just YOUR type of perfect.”

Jonathan also espouses open communication from the start. “It’s the key to a lot of things in life,” he says. “Without trust, communication and faith, there’s no point in starting to look.”

Finished looking, Jonathan and Shalonda are now on to the next phase of their lives.

Click here to read more inspiring interracial couples stories.