Mixed Marriages

David & Marshallee -
New Orleans, United States

Married January 2013

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Would Mom Give Him Her Endorsement?

Marshallee and David became husband and wife in December 2012; their lovely wedding ceremony was held in Jamaica. But how they got to that moment is quite a tale!

David lived in New Orleans and Marshallee in Jamaica. For this reason, it was a long time before they physically met. But their thoughts and feelings were strongly connected long before then… As David definitely has the gift of gab, most of their story comes from him. English is not Marshallee’s first language, but her love shines through in the few words she shares with us.

“The reason I went to an online dating site was because I’d already tried some more traditional venues without success,” David begins. “I thought I had a great prospect in my son’s Catechism teacher... until I asked her out, only to discover she had a steady boyfriend! Wasted a lot of time and energy to find that out. Let’s face it, it’s tough to meet people in everyday situations, let alone get to the point of having an exclusive relationship. On the other hand, the only reason someone is a member of a dating site is because they are actively seeking a relationship.”

Marshallee hadn’t had much luck with her offline efforts, either. “I wanted to try something new,” she reports. “I also joined other sites.”

Asked what drew him to our site specifically, David gives us a pat on the back. “As a site for those open to interracial dating, yours couldn’t be more perfect. If you are a member, you’ve already declared yourself to have a more global view of humanity!”

That was David’s view and David’s goal. However, what is perfect in theory still takes work in practice. David had to slog through the search before finding his other half. “I was on and off your site for a couple of years and I also posted profiles on several other sites,” he tells us. “Based on my overall experience with online dating, I had my doubts about having any long-lasting success.”

Marshallee’s username was “SexyKam28.” She spotted “dzNOLA” and viewed his profile. “So I viewed hers,” David continues. “SexyKam, her on-site name, was an understatement! She posted a photo of herself lounging on a bench by the Caribbean Sea; I swear she looked so hot the sea was boiling in the background.”

David sent her a Flirt and Marshallee reciprocated. After exchanging a few messages on the site, they switched over to personal emails and exchanged phone numbers. “Marshallee expressed herself very well in her profile, and her sincerity is one of the primary reasons that she impressed me so strongly,” explains David. “As we continued our communication via email, texts, photos and phone calls, she quickly grasped my sense of humor. I could easily make her laugh or smile. I started each day by thinking of ways that I could put a smile on her face, and it made me feel great!”

Still, David had his doubts that a long-distance relationship could take hold. “Because she lived in Jamaica and I lived in New Orleans, my first impression was that we would most likely never even meet,” he admits. “Also, she and I were about 20 years apart in our ages. So I was basically just flattered to be conversing with this incredibly beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman from 1000 miles away! I thought we’d be pen pals and exchange messages about dating and life in general.”

However, as months went by, it became clear to David that these obstacles were only speed-bumps to Marshallee. She was in this for the long haul. “He was very understanding when we talked. I was comfortable with him,” Marshallee tells us. “He is a man of strong faith. We wanted the same things, had the same goal.”

David was convinced to make the leap and consider this a relationship. “We both dropped off the site to focus on each other. I told her she didn’t need to look any further than right at me if she was truly seeking a sincere, committed relationship and unconditional love.”

As a single father raising three adolescents, it was impossible for David to date someone living in Jamaica. The airfare costs would be sky-high! “Marshallee did not yet have a visa to travel to the U.S., so it looked like we were doomed to carry on this long-distance love affair indefinitely,” David says. “That’s when we began having very serious discussions about what it would take for us to be together. I saw no sense in postponing what I knew we both wanted, and asked her to be my wife. She didn’t say ‘yes’ right away, although she did say she WANTED to... First, she needed to speak with her Mom and her best friend. Her only concern was following her heart in such a big step with a man she’d never seen in person.”

After getting input from those closest to her, Marshallee took a couple of days before announcing her decision… Yes! Says David, “Then I went to work, contacting an attorney who specialized in immigration visas for fiancées and spouses. As I spoke to him about my love, respect and admiration for Marshallee, he told me, ‘You obviously don’t want to wait for this whole process, which will take six months or more. Do you want to marry the girl?’ I told him ‘Absolutely!’ He responded, ‘Then just get your ass down to Jamaica and do it! Afterwards we’ll apply for her SPOUSAL visa and not waste any time.”

David was ready — he had racked up enough $700 phone bills calling Marshallee all the time — so without further ado, he booked his trip to Jamaica. “We made arrangements to spend a week together before our wedding. This would give her family and friends time to give me their final, in-person approval.”

And so David found himself in Jamaica, steps away from seeing Marshallee in the flesh. “Our first sight of each other was at the hotel. The front desk notified me that she was on her way to the building I was staying in. I went out on the balcony. Although it was twilight, I knew it was her walking towards me. I called out her name…”

Recalling that magic moment, Marshallee says that “he looked taller in his picture. Different in person. But I felt like I’d known him for such a long time.” She remembers that her first thought was “Is he going to like me?”

David picks up the story there. “The sound of her voice carried on the air, not distorted by phones, made me catch my breath! When I finally got to look directly into her eyes, I saw her beautiful, gentle spirit looking back at me.”

The couple were surprised at the instant degree of comfort they felt with one another. Awkward moments? Not a one! In the days leading up to their wedding, neither felt any reservations or twinges of doubt about what they were doing. “Finding love with Marshallee gives me great hope for a loving future together, and we pray that God will bless us with children in the years ahead,” says David. Exclaims Marshallee, “I am very happy!”

David calls our site “a godsend” to singles who wish to date across racial barriers. “For Marshallee and myself, any monies spent on the membership fees have been well worth it,” he declares. David’s advice to members is to be absolutely honest in their profiles. “Players and pretenders are easily spotted by the educated and sophisticated members who comprise the majority here,” he says.

Cultivating patience is another piece of advice to impart. “My wife and I didn’t meet up until we’d been here off and on for several years,” David says. “Who’s to say what might have happened if we’d given up? We certainly wouldn’t be with an amazing partner today! Please have faith, and don’t give up… it CAN happen for YOU, and it could even happen with your very first Flirt. In our case, all of this happened because I paid attention to who was checking me out, and took action to see where it might lead!”

Adds Marshallee, “Take it slow and be careful who you meet online, because you can know who is real and who is serious by getting to know the individual first. Don’t listen to what people might say [about your date] because if you do, your dreams might not become reality!”

Click here to read more inspiring interracial couples stories.